Tick-Tock

As I head ever-closer to eternity, I often find myself contemplating time. I think about how little time I may have left to use the spiritual gifts God has so graciously given me to use for His glory. (Not that He necessarily needs me, mind you. He's quite capable of raising up another to take my place!)  My grandchildren are growing up quickly and I realize how little time I may have to build memories, to interact with them and shine God's truth into their lives. I think of those I teach... the bi-weekly women's Bible study, my 5th/6th Sunday School class, the women I do one-on-one studies with, and my driving desire to transmit to them all the necessary "how-to's" for studying God's Word for themselves, that they may personally know Jesus Christ at an ever-increasing, life-changing depth. The passing of time also leads me to consider how much of it I waste in useless, worthless pursuits. I recall my daughter pointing out once how we all have the same amount of hours in a day. It's how we choose to use them that makes the difference.

Kevin DeYoung (The Gospel Coalition) recently posted a quote from Peter Drucker's The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done. Though not a Christian book, Drucker does offer useful considerations about time applicable to all of us. He writes...

The supply of time is totally inelastic. No matter how high the demand, the supply will not go up. There is no price for it and no marginal utility curve for it. Moreover, time is totally perishable and cannot be stored. Yesterday’s time is gone forever and will never come back. Time is, therefore, always in exceedingly short supply.

Time is totally irreplaceable. Within limits we can substitute one resource for another, copper for aluminum, for instance. We can substitute capital for human labor. We can use more knowledge or more brawn. But there is no substitute for time.

Everything requires time. It is the one truly universal condition. All work takes place in time and uses up time. Yet most people take for granted this unique, irreplaceable, and necessary resource. Nothing else, perhaps, distinguishes an effective executive as much as their tender loving care of time.

You may not be as old as me. You may think you have all the time in the world ahead of you. You need to realize that age may have absolutely nothing to do with the amount of time you'll spend here. None of us knows which day will be our last! That should lead us to carefully consider our own use of this commodity called time. Don't allow yourself to get caught up with the notion that "someday when I have more time I'll study God's Word  ... someday when I have more time I'll live for Christ ... someday when I have more time I'll get serious about prayer ... someday when I have more time I'll tell others the good news of the gospel". Your "some day" might not arrive.

Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit"-- yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. [James 4:13-14]

Developing Hearts for World Missions

I've seen several recommendations for this DVD series, Dispatches from the Front. When we were raising our children we purposefully exposed them to the importance of world missions. They were blessed to develop several long-term relationships with  missionary families we supported. Missions was stressed in our prayers, in extending our hospitality, in our giving and in our letter writing. Now they are grown with children of their own, and I have noticed them starting to expose their own children to missions.

This DVD series may be something you'll want to take advantage of in your own efforts. I haven't personally seen them, so I'm not sure about age appropriateness. You'll want to make that decision for yourself.  Josh Harris has been viewing them with his family and offers the following comments.

"Our family has been watching a series of excellent DVD's called Dispatches from the Front. Today we watched the episode set in India. My three kids were enthralled. I want, and I want my kids to have, a heart for world missions. These videos stir that passion."

The description of the series on their website states, "Believers everywhere desperately need a renewed vision of Christ and the unstoppable advance of His saving work in all the earth. Our view of God's Kingdom is often too small and limited to what we have experienced. Dispatches from the Front highlights the marvelous extent, diversity, and unity of Christ's Kingdom in our world. The journal format of each episode underscores the daily unfolding of God's activity on the 'frontlines,' bringing viewers up-close with sights and sounds from distant corners of the Kingdom."

All nations whom You have made shall come and worship before You, O Lord, 

And they shall glorify Your name.  (Psalm 86:9)

Thoughts on Parenting & Humility

Following is an excerpt from a post dealing with leadership in the workplace. But I found these few paragraphs useful for self-examination in the area of training up our children. In particular, the author considers how a lack of consistent parenting actually contributes to our children's misbehavior. Usually our intention is to be consistent, but actual day-to-day execution can be difficult. May this be an encouragement for consistency and perseverance! How we view behavior problems has a great deal to do with whether we handle them proactively or whether we feel we're the victim of our children's behavior.

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One of the best opportunities that I've found for being humbled is in my role as a parent. Some people might think I'm referring to the unglamorous work of changing diapers, cleaning up spilled milk and picking up dirty clothes. While those are certainly humbling experiences, I find that the most profound instances of parental humility occur for me when I am disciplining my children. Or more accurately, when I'm criticizing their behavior.

See, when I’m scolding any one of my four sons (it’s not that I’m unwilling to scold my daughters; it’s just that I don’t have any) I often find myself wondering why he acts the way he does. Being an extravert, I usually verbalize my thoughts and say something to the effect of “where did you learn to act like that?” And that’s when, if I’m being honest with myself, I realize that the answer to my semi-rhetorical question is that my son likely learned it from me...

Of course, I don’t really teach my sons to misbehave. It’s not like I sit down and give them instructions on how to provoke their brothers, break the dining room chairs or talk back to their parents. But I must have done something to give them the idea that it would be okay to do those things, or more likely, that the consequence for doing so wouldn’t be significant.

And it’s in that moment of realization that I have a choice: I can either be humble enough to acknowledge that the first person I need to be addressing if I want to change my son’s behavior is me, or I can go on venting about how ornery he is and watch the orneriness continue. 

[from "Humbled by Sins of Omission" by Pat Lencioni]

Book Preview: "Parenting By God's Promises"

I hesitate to offer another book preview so quickly, but I thought Ligonier's review of  Dr. Joel Beeke's new book, Parenting By God's Promises, offered some really practical advice. I always have my eye out for biblical parenting advice because I can still remember the challenges of parenting well. At 350 pages long, I'm not sure how many will be interested in taking it on, but this looks too interesting for me to pass up. I've preordered a copy for the FBC Library. I'll let you know when it comes in. Here's one piece of advice from the book.

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From the chapter, "Preventive Discipline"

“We are leaving in fifteen minutes. Please clean up your room before we go.” That command sounds clear, doesn’t it?

Perhaps there are twenty items on the floor when the child walks into his room, and about ten more things out of place. He picks up five things and then comes downstairs. His parents ask whether he has cleaned his room. He says, “Yes.” The parents check the room and exclaim: “It’s a pigpen in here! You didn’t clean your room.” The child says, “Yes, I did!”

Is it possible this boy really believes he has cleaned his room? Because a child thinks very differently from an adult, often what the adult says by implication does not get through to the child. The child may interpret an order in a way not intended by the parent. In the above example, perhaps the parents are to blame for not making their request perfectly clear. It would be better for them to say: “Pick up everything lying on the floor and put it where it belongs. Remember, in fifteen minutes we have to leave, so you should work fast.” Do you see the difference? We must be specific and leave nothing to the imagination. When we ask a child, “Did you get everything off the floor?” he should understand what we mean.

Give children clear instructions. You will not have to employ corrective discipline as much when both of you understand what is expected.

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Excerpt from Joel Beeke’s Parenting by God’s Promises: How to Raise Children in the Covenant of Grace.


 

A Look at "Dinner Table Devotions"

God commanded His people Israel to teach their children about Him, His character and His mighty deeds. The parameters for doing this included all of life.

"You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul ... You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." (Deut.11:18-19)

The New Testament repeats this command to the body of Christ. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Eph.6:4) 

The difficulty is that many of us need a little help, a little guidance, a little direction. It would be wonderful if every parent could open up their Bible and start teaching their children from it, and I hope you are increasing in your knowledge of the Word so that you will be able to do that! But in the meantime, you might appreciate a little help. Notice the content of what we're supposed to be teaching our children. We are to teach them who God is, what He expects of man, how He works in this world, what His plans are for the future ... in short, we are to help them know God as He has revealed Himself in His Word. The problem is that so many family devotion books place their emphasis on morality and outer behavior without ever challenging the heart. If we're not careful, we might find ourselves raising little Pharisees! So it is very refreshing to come across a book that approaches our responsibility from a more biblical perspective. 

Josh Harris recommends a new book by Nancy Guthrie entitled, Dinner Table Devotions. He has been pleased with the results after using it with his own children (aged 11, 9 and 5). Having had children who were 4 years apart, I appreciate any material that can stretch across multiple ages! But more importantly, the introduction to the book explains its biblical approach.

Whereas most family devotionals focus on Bible stories or on practical moral lessons, Dinner Table Devotions and Discussion Starters focuses on biblical themes, concepts, and words, in ways that are understandable to children without talking down to adults or teens. It will help your family take a step back to look at the big picture of what God is doing in the world and His purposes and plans in creating and redeeming the world. Once you and your family have worked your way through this book, you will have discussed nearly every major attribute of God and a host of profound theological truths, such as justification, redemption, substitution, and sanctification--without all those daunting words. You will have looked into important concepts from the Bible, such as covenant, adoption, judgment, and redemption, as well as spiritual realities, such as hell, angels, resurrection, and glorification. This is not dry theology for theology's sake, but living theology that makes a huge difference in how we do battle against temptation, deal with disappointment, and determine our futures."

Nancy Guthrie's website offers a sample of the first ten devotions. The book is available from amazon for $10.19. Customer ratings have been high. I've ordered a copy for the FBC Library if you would like a chance to try it before making your own purchase. This looks like a great resource for your parenting arsenal!


 

Addressing Grouchiness in Our Children

How easy it can be to allow our children to get into behavior patterns destructive to themselves and to the whole family. I've observed young moms who have trained themselves to recognize it in their children because they view it as a God-given opportunity to shine the light of God's Word into their lives in order to lovingly correct them. How do you view grouchiness in your child? As in imposition on your time? As a nuisance, an annoyance? As a "stage" they're going through? Or as a blessing from God, who is graciously making you aware of their sin so that you might address it? Amy at the Raising Arrows blog has written a helpful post with practical advice called, "Grouchy Girls" (she has daughters). Her entire post may be found here.

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"Some days are just like that ... But, what do we do when our daughters seem to be having “that day” repeatedly? While the world tells us grouchiness is just part of certain growing up years, I have a different perspective [as does God!] and can often be heard telling my daughters,

What you practice now, you will become later.

If insolence and complaining are practiced in your daughter’s younger years without restraint, you can guarantee she will struggle with these same things as an adult. If finding fault and unbridled tongue-lashings often occur in her days as a youth, you better believe they will occur in her days as an adult. The brunt of her grouchiness will move from her siblings to her parents to her husband to her children.  She will feel discontent and out of sorts because no one truly wants to be like this, but because she practiced such things in her youth, her adult years will be fraught with bitterness.

As mothers, we should not accept grouchy girls as the norm.  We must continually strive to teach our daughters to glorify the Lord in all things…our attitudes included. But how do we foster a sweet spirit and attitude in our young daughters?  Here are some ideas: 

*Pray for her and over her.  This is not a time for condemnation, but rather a time to speak into her life the things you know please the Lord.  Rather than pray for her to quit yelling at her siblings, pray for her to continue to learn the art of a meek and quiet spirit.  Always give her something to strive towards.

*Praise her when you see or hear good attitudes.  Yes, you might embarrass her, but she needs to know you see the good in her and not just the bad.

*Model right behavior.  Check your attitude, mama.  Do you grouch around the house more often than you smile?  Do you laugh?  Do you enjoy the girls God has given you?  Or are you grouchy too?  Sometimes a daughter’s attitude is a direct reflection of her mother’s...

*Never allow grouchy responses.  You may have to model the correct vocal inflections or have her repeat exactly what you say and how you say it or ask her to try again many, many times, but do not allow grouchy responses.  Again, she is practicing.  Don’t let her practice the wrong thing. 

*Do a character study of the Fruit of the Spirit.  Teach your daughter about patience and kindness and self-control and what those words mean... reading through [Gal.5:22-23] and simply talking about each component.

*Realize the fruit of the Spirit is the Fruit of the Spirit and you are not the Spirit.  True fruit in your daughter’s life will only come from the Holy Spirit.  You can disciple and lead and guide and direct, but ultimately, this is God’s work." 

Gospel Focus - Youth

Statistics will back me up, but one thing I have personally observed over the years is the sad reality that only some of our youth will come to have a saving relationship with Jesus Christ. Others will completely turn away, following their own heart's desires and others will "play" at Christianity, knowing all the outward forms, but lacking the regenerative power within their hearts. The response of too many parents will be that the church should "do" something guaranteed to bring about their child's salvation. If people in the church were only friendlier, their child would have been saved. If Youth Group had been more attractional, their child would have wanted to come and subsequently been saved. If more care packages had been sent out to the college freshmen, their child would have been saved. If a Youth Leader or Sunday School teacher had spent more personal one-on-one time, their child would have been saved. If the kids in Youth Group had been less cliquish and more loving, their child would have been saved.  I've heard it all and often wondered if those who hold such opinions have seriously studied the truths of Scripture. Yes, we're to be faithful messengers, but it is the Holy Spirit who saves, and  like the wind, He moves as He chooses. Jesus said, "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." (John 3:8)

So if it's the work of the Holy Spirit, then what is our role as Sunday School teachers, Youth leaders and parents? Scripture tells us we are to preach the gospel, for it is the gospel that is the power of God for salvation. (Romans 1:16) We are to teach who God is, what He expects of us, how He has worked in the past, how He continues to work today and what He will accomplish in the future. We teach how to rightly divide His Word, in the hope that the Holy Spirit may choose to use it at some point in the future to bring them to a saving knowledge of Christ. We diligently pray for their souls ... without ceasing. We model for them what God can do with an obedient heart that loves Him. These things need to be the focus of our teaching and practice, not merely promoting an outer conformity to prescribed behavior, for that would be repeating the errors of the Pharisees, nor fooling ourselves that attendance alone will guarantee a quickening of their spirit.

Pastor Jon Nielsen, College Church in Wheaton, recently wrote a post concerning these things. Instead of focusing on the youth who walk away, he made observations about the 20-somethings who stayed in the church or came back to it. You may read an excerpt below.
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... there is no one easy solution for bringing all of those “lost” kids back into the church, other than continuing to pray for them and speaking the gospel into their lives. However, we can all look at the 20-somethings in our churches who are engaged and involved in ministry. What is it that sets apart the kids who stay in the church? Here are just a few observations I have made about such kids, with a few applications for those of us serving in youth ministry.

1. They are converted.

The apostle Paul, interestingly enough, doesn’t use phrases like “nominal Christian” or “pretty good kid.” The Bible doesn’t seem to mess around with platitudes like: “Yeah, it’s a shame he did that, but he’s got a good heart.” When we listen to the witness of Scripture, particularly on the topic of conversion, we find that there is very little wiggle room. Listen to these words: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2Cor.5:17). We youth pastors need to get back to understanding salvation as what it really is: a miracle that comes from the glorious power of God through the working of the Holy Spirit.

We need to stop talking about “good kids.” We need to stop being pleased with attendance at youth group and fun retreats. We need to start getting on our knees and praying that the Holy Spirit will do miraculous saving work in the hearts of our students as the Word of God speaks to them. In short, we need to get back to a focus on conversion. How many of us are preaching to “unconverted evangelicals”? Youth pastors, we need to preach, teach, and talk—all the while praying fervently for the miraculous work of regeneration to occur in the hearts and souls of our students by the power of the Holy Spirit! When that happens—when the “old goes” and the “new comes”—it will not be iffy. We will not be dealing with a group of “nominal Christians.” We will be ready to teach, disciple, and equip a generation of future church leaders—“new creations”!—who are hungry to know and speak God’s Word. It is converted students who go on to love Jesus and serve the church.

2. They have been equipped, not entertained.

... youth pastors especially need to keep repeating the words of Ephesians 4:11-12 to themselves: “[Christ] gave . . . the teachers to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for building up the body of Christ.” Christ gives us—teachers—to the church, not for entertainment, encouragement, examples, or even friendship primarily. He gives us to the church to “equip” the saints to do gospel ministry, in order that the church of Christ may be built up.

If I have not equipped the students in my ministry to share the gospel, disciple a younger believer, and lead a Bible study, then I have not fulfilled my calling to them, no matter how good my sermons have been. We pray for conversion; that is all we can do, for it is entirely a gracious gift of God. But after conversion, it is our Christ-given duty to help fan into flame a faith that serves, leads, teaches, and grows. If our students leave high school without Bible-reading habits, Bible-study skills, and strong examples of discipleship and prayer, we have lost them. We have entertained, not equipped them . . . We don’t need youth group junkies; we need to be growing churchmen and churchwomen who are equipped to teach, lead, and serve. Put your youth ministry strategies aside as you look at that 16-year-old young man and ask: “How can I spend four years with this kid, helping him become the best church deacon and sixth-grade Sunday school class teacher he can be, ten years down the road?”

3. Their parents preached the gospel to them.

As a youth pastor, I can’t do all this. All this equipping that I’m talking about is utterly beyond my limited capabilities. It is impossible for me to bring conversion, of course, but it is also impossible for me to have an equipping ministry that sends out vibrant churchmen and churchwomen if my ministry is not being reinforced tenfold in the students’ homes. The common thread that binds together almost every ministry-minded 20-something that I know is abundantly clear: a home where the gospel was not peripheral but absolutely central. The 20-somethings who are serving, leading, and driving the ministries at our church were kids whose parents made them go to church. They are kids whose parents disciplined them and held them accountable when they were rebellious. They are kids whose parents read the Bible around the dinner table every night. And they are kids whose parents were tough, but who ultimately operated from a framework of grace that held up the cross of Jesus as the basis for peace with God and forgiveness toward one another.

This is not a formula! Kids from wonderful gospel-centered homes leave the church; people from messed-up family backgrounds find eternal life in Jesus and have beautiful marriages and families. But it’s also not a crap-shoot. In general, children who are led in their faith during their growing-up years by parents who love Jesus vibrantly, serve their church actively, and saturate their home with the gospel completely, grow up to love Jesus and the church. The words of Proverbs 22:6 do not constitute a formula that is true 100 percent of the time, but they do provide us with a principle that comes from the gracious plan of God, the God who delights to see his gracious Word passed from generation to generation: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

Youth pastors, pray with all your might for true conversion; that is God’s work. Equip the saints for the work of the ministry; that is your work. Parents, preach the gospel and live the gospel for your children; our work depends on you.

[The entire post may be found here.]

Summer Ideas: Teaching Your Kids to Serve

Here we are at the beginning of summer! The kids are out of school... no lunches to make, no early morning car drives, no after school activities, no homework to supervise, no sudden announcements of school projects "due tomorrow". I think I hear a collected sigh of relief. But as you plan your summer vacations, trips to the beach and overnights with friends, take time to think about creating opportunities for your children to serve others this summer. Erin Davis at the True Woman blog writes, "... summer also offers a unique opportunity to do ministry together as a family. A whole lot of free time offers a whole lot of opportunities to reach out to others and minister side by side. If your kids can get a taste of the value of serving like Jesus did, they’ll be learning an important lesson." She offers the following ideas, with a few of my own additions in italics. I'm sure you can add to the list!
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Help with Vacation Bible School
Many churches host VBS during the summer. Instead of just sending your kids off to attend, grab your pre-teens and teens and get involved yourself with serving. If your church doesn’t have a VBS, look for ways to serve in another church, or launch a Backyard Bible Club for a few kids in your neighborhood. [Have your kids help bake cookies to serve at VBS, help prepare room decorations, distribute invitations in your neighborhood, put up signs in your community, pray those who attend will have hearts open to the gospel.]

Plan a local short-term missions trip
You don’t have to be a missionary to take a missions trip. Simply think of a group of people who have a need, and find a way to meet that need while sharing the love of Jesus. You can go for a day, a weekend, or a week. Here are a few missions trips my family have done:

• Clean up a playground in a low-income housing area, and then offer a free hot meal to the residents (hot dogs and chips work great!).

• Find an area of your state that has been impacted by a natural disaster, and get plugged in with a relief organization such as the Red Cross or Samaritan’s Purse. 

• Ask your pastor for a list of widows or shut-ins, and call and offer to do lawn work for free during the hottest days of summer.

• Call that same list of widows and shut-ins and offer to bring them fresh produce from your garden. They likely don’t have the oomph to garden themselves, but would love to share in the bounty of your back yard. 

• Call your local pregnancy care center and offer to come and sort supplies for moms in need. 

• Volunteer together at your local Food Pantry & Clothes Closet. Have your kids organize a neighborhood or church food drive of non-perishables to donate. Follow up your efforts with prayer.  

This list is just the tip of the iceberg. The possibilities are endless!  

Serve lemonade
Encourage your children to set up a lemonade stand to raise funds for people in need. Even young children will enjoy creating and decorating a lemonade stand, making lemonade and treats, and collecting money from “customers.” (I would recommend calling friends and neighbors and encouraging them to stop by). Then, give your child a few options of organizations and let them go with you to deliver their hard-earned money.

Adopt a family
Not every momma gets to stay at home with her kids in the summer. This can be especially true for single moms. That means some kids are left to fend for themselves while their parents work. If you know a family in this situation, offer to take the kids during the day for the summer, and be sure to specify that you don’t expect any payment in return. Will it be a sacrifice? You betcha! But God’s Word urges us to look after each other in practical ways like this. Be intentional about looking for a family that you can help by being generous with your time.
  
Create a Prayer Wall at Home
Find a blank wall to turn into a wall of prayer. Teach your kids the importance of praying for others rather than focusing on their own desires and needs. On one side of the wall, have kids tape prayers for those in need and on the other side, ask the children to write down something for which they are thankful. Teach children to pray as a way of praising God and relying on Him when things seem hopeless. (Idea from eHow)

Summers provide a unique opportunity for families who have the time and flexibility to break free from routine. Using that window to serve others in Jesus’ name is one of the  best uses of your family’s time.

Summer Reading Ideas for Children

As summer starts, I'd like to put in a plug for reading. Your children are bound to be busy this summer with a multitude of activities, but don't forget the one activity that will stay with them for a lifetime ... reading. I think one of the most encouraging complements I ever received was when someone told me I had given my children a great gift - the love of learning. I can't say that I had that goal in mind at the time, but if I stop to evaluate how learning was encouraged in our home, reading good books certainly holds a place of honor. 

I know it's a huge debate, but as for me, I pointed my kids towards good books and away from trash books ... and I didn't blink an eye doing it! One of my kids was an avid reader from his early years and the other had difficulty, but plugged away at it until it became easier for her in her late teens/early 20's. Unfortunately, people get the idea that if they have difficulty reading, then they just shouldn't read. Do you know how you become a better reader? ... by reading. You may never achieve the heights of a speed reader, but few of us ever do! Pastor John Piper often laments his painfully slow reading ability, yet he continues reading a few good books year after year, then shares what he learns with other pastors. It's well worth the effort to get your children to read good books. Without realizing it, they are building a body of knowledge and developing a "feel" for good writing. Once I did a creative writing study with a few of my favorite little girls, using well written children's books as examples of how it is done. We all loved it!

British Education Secretary Michael Gove recently recommended that the average 11 year old should read at least 50 books per year. Yes...that surprised me, too! So, in an effort to encourage summer reading, here are some suggestions from the books available in our 5th/6th SS Library (open to all children at FBC, starting at Level 2 readers & going up to Jr/Sr High). If you prefer, you may purchase them by clicking on the link (a small percentage of the sale goes towards my "Book Fund"). So turn off that TV and set up a "family reading" time. Start with 15 minutes a day, then expand it to 1/2 hour. You will discover that after a while, your kids (and you!) will want to read even longer! It's a great investment in giving your kids a love of learning! And if you're a believer, the ability to read discerningly is vital for a lifetime of studying God's Word!

The Phantom Tollbooth
Eagle of the Ninth (Bookworms Library)
The Hobbit
Little House On The Prairie
The Secret Garden
Black Beauty (Puffin Classics)
The Lantern Bearers (Roman Britain Trilogy)
The Magician's Nephew
The Horse and His Boy (The Chronicles of Narnia, Full-Color Collector's Edition)
Charlotte's Web (Trophy Newbery)
Caddie Woodlawn
The Trumpeter of Krakow
Rifles for Watie
Ginger Pye (Young Classic)

The BFG 

Tales from the Odyssey: The One-Eyed Giant - Book #1
Tales from the Odyssey, Part 2

There are also lots of Christian biographies available! I recently added an anthology series for girls and one for boys ("10 Girls Who ...." & "10 Boys Who ..."). If your child has difficulty reading, anthologies where each chapter is a single story might be helpful to get them started. And I have a series of Missionary books written in verse, for younger readers. Or you might choose to read them to your preschoolers. My 4 year old grandson was just telling me all about George Mueller and how God used him to care for orphaned children! For older children, the Janet & Geoff Benge books are terrific!

Ten Boys Who Changed The World (Lightkeepers)
Ten Girls Who Changed The World (Lightkeepers)
Ten Girls Who Made A Difference (Lightkeepers)
Gladys Aylward: The Adventure of a Lifetime (Christian Heroes: Then & Now)
Amy Carmichael: Rescuing the Children (Heroes for Young Readers)
George Mueller: Faith to Feed Ten Thousand (Heroes for Young Readers)

Book Preview: "Give Them Grace, Dazzling Your Kids With the Love of Jesus"

Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson have a new book coming out this month. Raising our children in a manner that glorifies God can be a challenge, yet it is also a privileged responsibility He has given us. You may know the general biblical concepts, but the actual day-to-day implementation can be difficult to figure out.  I remember thinking, "Yes, I want to bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but how exactly do I do that?" 

Fitzpatrick offers advice concerning different responses to various parenting situations.  Not every situation should be treated the same way.  She even offers an acronym to help us remember the various approaches: Moms Need To Constantly Pray, which of course, is a basic tenet of Christian child rearing!  The letters stand for the various biblical approaches she suggests, depending on the actual need of the situation - Manage, Nurture, Train, Correct and Promise.  I'm assuming she derived her categories from the different ways God deals with His children.  2 Timothy 3:16-17 comes to mind. It lists four different areas where Scripture is "profitable" - for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness.  God also makes promises to His people,  encouraging them to "set their minds" on these things, thereby enabling them to have an eternal focus and a longing for the day when His promises come to complete fruition.  Fitzpatrick & Thompson suggest asking yourself the following questions in order to determine which of God's methods may be best suited to a particular situation in child rearing.  I've added some of my own thoughts about  situations in which these approaches might be implemented.

• Does this circumstance simply call for management?
• Mom finds herself unnecessarily  repeating herself too many times to get her 4 year-old to do his daily chores (e.g. dress himself, brush his teeth, make his bed, put dirty pjs in laundry basket in the AM; set the table for supper, pick up toys at end of the day, put on pjs, put dirty clothes in laundry basket, brush teeth in PM)  She decides this is a "management" issue and prints up & laminates "chore cards" or a "chore chart" using pictures he can check off as he accomplishes each one.
• Now that the situation has calmed down, do I have an opportunity to nurture his soul with the gospel?
• e.g. A parent has a serious illness & the child is unsettled & frightened at the thought of losing them.  The daily family Bible time is a perfect opportunity for addressing these issues by teaching who God is, as He has revealed Himself in His Word.
• Is this the time to train him in how to apply what Jesus has already done for him?.
• Do I need to correct her/his attitudes or actions so that they are more in line with the good news?
• e.g. A child is corrected when they speak unlovingly to a sibling, taught the language of repentance, seeks forgiveness & is taught to look for ways to show their love for their sibling.
• Should I remind him of God’s promises, either of blessing for faith or of consequence for unbelief?
• Personalizing God's promises to a level the child can understand; faithfully following through with consequences for their actions 
• Finally, is this just a time for me to pray and ask the Lord to show me how the gospel applies to my own heart?  Do I need clarity to understand why my child is struggling or resisting right now?  Do I need clarity into my heart’s responses so that I am not sucked down into her unbelief, anger, and despair?  What is it that bothers me about his attitude?  Why?

I've pre-ordered a copy for the FBC library, so keep an eye out for it.  If you prefer, you may pre-order your own copy by clicking on the link below. [Thanks to Justin Taylor's blog for the heads-up!]
Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus

Raising Children in "the Discipline & Instruction of the Lord"

The following is excerpted from a Christian dad's blog concerning the importance of raising his children in the light of God and His Word. You should read his entire blog found here. He also has  links to a number of related posts concerning Christian child-rearing. I thought you would not only find his practical advice useful, but also appreciate his underlying philosophy of Christian parenting. The world has plenty of advice to give ...we need to make sure we're listening to God's voice above all the noise!

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4)

"This is what we do in our home. I am not saying it is for everyone, but we are supportive of it as a practice by conviction and experience. Our children range from 20 months to almost 16. There is quite a variety...

Family Devotions: As a family we work through books of the Bible. We typically do this after dinner in the evening. I read a section of Scripture and talk about it as we go. I weave in questions and application. I require everyone to participate and help the younger ones to do so...

Personal or Private Devotions: Once the kids are able to read we require them to read their Bibles, journal, and pray. In the morning, our older children get up, take care of their chores and hygiene and then sit down to do their devotions. We ask them to think through the implications of the passage, journal the main idea, confess sin, connect the passage to the gospel, and pray for grace filled obedience. They can expect questions about what they’ve read, not always, but often.

One objection to mandating Bible reading is that it may discourage the children who don’t believe.
First, I want to remember that I am responsible for my children. I am a steward of them. I want to do everything I can in my power to see them become faithful Christians. I understand that the way people become Christians and then grow to maturity is through the word of God (Rom. 1:16; 10:17; John 17:17). Therefore, I want to expose them as much as I can to the Bible. We do this as a family and then in their individual time. So, instead of discouraging them, if God is gracious, the exposure to the Bible will actually encourage them. It will be the means of opening eyes and hearts to believe.

Second, I want to remember that our home is a Christian home. While living here does not make you a Christian, it does mean that the home is going to reflect traditional Christian values and practices. Therefore, we are going to read, pray, sing, and talk about Christ and his word. I should never feel bad or discouraged about this. It is part of being a Christian...

After seeing this in place for several years now I can say that the kids have become more hungry for the Bible. The more they are exposed to it the more hungry they seem to become. They are reading and learning their Bibles. Of course it is always difficult with kids to have a perfect read on them, however, the mandated Bible reading seems to have had a positive impact on them. They are not just learning the Bible, they seem to actually have come to love it.

I should also note that this is not a pragmatic formula. It is not “Christian in a Box” just add water recipe. If there is true love for Christ and his Word I know that has come through the work of God the Holy Spirit. But I am also reminded that God uses means. This encourages me to persevere and continue being intentional with their exposure to the Bible. At the end of the day, if there is a Christian on the right of the equal sign, it is because the Spirit of God and the word of God are on the left of it."

Raising Men

On his blog today, Tim Challies commented on a phenomenon I have also noticed ... one I was probably guilty of perpetuating a time or two! If you drive around neighborhoods on a snowy day, you'll notice a lot of Moms shoveling driveways. Many of those households have able bodied older boys, teens and young adult men ... yet it is the mom who is out there shoveling. It made me think about the need to raise children intentionally. I certainly tried to do that as our kids were growing up, but know there were times I chose expediency over character building. I wish I had thought more about long-range consequences. We have become a culture of delayed childhood. Particularly as Christians we need to be careful we don't perpetuate that viewpoint. We're raising our kids to be adults ... not children. That means we have to start building responsibility into their lives as their maturity level allows. The time to begin paying attention to that is now ... not when they are nearly grown and about to leave home.

These days I watch my kids raise their children and I notice how much more they think about parenting. Nehemiah recently shoveled the landlady's walkway [and sidewalk and started in on the neighbor's walkway ;)] when the snow wasn't too deep and Micah goes out to help his Dad whenever he shovels. They are little guys and may not be accomplishing huge amounts, but they are learning to take responsibility and to look for ways to serve others. That's a good thing. Challies writes...

"I remember being a rebellious, listless teenager. I remember how little I wanted to do much of anything for anyone else. I remember our elderly next-door neighbor had a heart attack and was unable to do any strenuous labor. We had a good snowfall one day and I was enjoying the day in the refuge of my basement bedroom, lying across my bed reading a book and listening to some music. My father came down and told me in no uncertain terms that I was to go upstairs, get my winter gear on and get outside to shovel the neighbor’s driveway. He gave me a figurative (and perhaps literal—my memory is a little hazy) kick in the rear-end and sent me on my way. I went outside and there was my neighbor’s wife, shoveling the drive. I pitched in and soon had it cleared. The lesson has stuck.

Dad had high expectations of me, but reasonable, biblical ones. He wanted me to be active and proactive in service to others; he wanted me to be looking for opportunities to serve and for opportunities to serve as a man serves; he wanted me to use my growing strength to serve other people.

I have a boy of my own now and I can see that some of what was in me is in him. He is a good kid, a kind soul. Yet he is sometimes as reluctant to serve as I was when I was young. I am seeking to teach him that he is to use his strength, his ability to serve others and especially to serve those who are weaker or less able than he is. It will not be long before my son is stronger than my wife. Already when they goof around together I can see that she does not have a whole lot on him. What becomes of a mom when she has children who are bigger than she is, stronger than she is, and yet with so little maturity, so little restraint? ...

This is a lesson a father [and mother!] needs to pass to his son. It’s a lesson that no one has taught to so many of the boys who live around me. A little while ago I saw a mother struggling with a load of groceries while her boys pushed past one another and past her to get into the house. I stopped them and told them to get back to the car to help their mother. They looked at me blankly and walked into their house, mumbling an excuse. Mom struggled down the walkway she had shoveled with the groceries she was forced to carry ... There was no one to give these boys the good, swift kick to the posterior that would get them acting like men."

Read the entire blog here.

Perseverance in Holiness

My 5th/6th grade SS class just finished studying the Book of Joshua and  began the Book of Judges last week. Joshua, for the most part, is a story of obedience, blessing and success. Judges, on the other hand, is a story of disobedience, loss of blessing and failure. We noticed in SS class that the change had occurred within ONE generation. Now that leaves me wondering, "Why?"  Why was Joshua's generation, a generation so intent on trusting God and obeying Him, followed by a generation where "every man did what was right in his own eyes"?  Did the older generation fail to teach that next generation about God?  Were they so caught up in possessing the land, they forgot who had given it to them and that God desired to use them as His witness to the nations? [Ex.19:5-6]  Did they become a little too relaxed and comfortable at the end of their lives and their "almost complete obedience" failed to remove the pagan influence on their children?  Did they just get caught up living from day to day and push God into the background, allowing other issues and interests to capture their attention?  Did they start to spend more time looking "horizontally" than they did "vertically"?  Maurice Roberts, in his book, The Thought of God, wrote the following about the importance of persevering in holiness:

"Godliness is soon lost ... Holiness is vulnerable in this world. It is like snow that is quickly melted or mist which disperses when the sun rises up. In one single generation of a family or of a church the power of godliness which it previously had may be lost totally.

If we are to maintain and preserve the spirituality of our homes and churches we must act decisively and purposefully. This we shall not be prepared to do unless we are first convinced of the fact that godliness is the greatest blessing we can wish for our children and for all others over whom God gives us influence. We ought therefore to begin with the conviction that neither health nor happiness, wealth nor education, nor any other thing is comparable in importance to knowledge of God. If our children, our families and our congregations are poor in all else yet rich in their love to God, they are rich indeed. But if they are rich in all else and poor in love to Christ, they are miserably poor indeed. There can be no doubt that this is God's view of the matter and that it ought therefore to be ours also."

What is most important to you? Where do you place your priorities? On what do you expend your money, your time and your thoughts?  As Paul exhorted Timothy, "Be conscientious about how you live and what you teach. Persevere in this, because by doing so you will save both yourself and those who listen to you."  (1 Timothy 4:16)

Parenting As an Opportunity, Not an Inconvenience

I've ordered the 3-DVD Parenting Seminar by Paul Tripp [Shepherding a Child's Heart] and am making it available to all  my "mom friends". Just ask! To whet your appetite, here's a recent post from Tripp's blog:

"We had planned a day at a local theme park with our children. I was anticipating a day of familial amusement park bliss. I was hoping that on this day my children would be self-parenting, and if God could throw in a fully sanctified wife, that would be cool!  Well, we’re getting out of the van at the park and one of my children said, “Dad, may we have something to drink before we go into the park?”  It didn’t seem like a dangerous request.  I opened the cooler, which was full of soft drinks, and all of my children sighted in on the one can of soda that they all knew was the best. Immediately global nuclear war broke out. They were pushing and shoving, grabbing and pulling, throwing ice at one another, saying unkind things and hitting one another’s hands out of the way. I couldn’t believe it. We weren’t even in the park yet, and my day was already ruined!

So I jumped in and said, “Do you want to fight? We don’t have to pay all this money for you to fight. I’ll take you home, put a cooler in the backyard with one can of soda in it, and you can fight forever!”  Soon my children aren’t fighting anymore because they’re watching the crowd gather as I lose it in the parking lot of the theme park.

Let’s analyze what’s going on in this moment and what’s happening inside of me. What’s going on is that a God of grace is taking a mundane moment of daily family life and using it to do something wonderful for my children and for me.  He is making the condition of their hearts visible in order to produce concern in me that would hopefully result in awareness and a desire to change in them.  But I’m not at all encouraged in this moment with what God is doing.  You see, I’m not angry in the parking lot because my children are sinners. No, I’m angry that God has exposed their sin, and because He has, I have to forsake my agenda for the day and parent them!  It all seems like a huge imposition, a hassle that I just didn’t want to deal with.

But the reality is different from God’s perspective. The sin, weakness, rebellion, or failure of your children is never an imposition on your parenting.  It is never an interruption.  It is never a hassle.  It is always grace. God loves your children. He has put them in a family of faith, and in relentless grace He will reveal their need to you again and again so that you can be his tool of awareness, conviction, repentance, faith, and change.  And because in these moments He asks you to forsake your agenda for His, this opportunity of grace is not just for your children, it’s for you as well.

But my problem is that there are moments when I tend to love my little kingdom of one more than I love His. So I’m impatient, discouraged, or irritated not because my children have broken the laws of God’s kingdom, but the laws of mine. In my kingdom there shall be no parenting on family vacation days, or when I am reading the paper on my iPad, or after ten o’clock at night, or during a good meal, or . . . I could go on.  And when I’m angry about interruptions to my kingdom plan, there are four things I tend to do.

1. I tend to turn a God-given moment of ministry into a moment of anger.


2. I do this because I have personalized what is not personal.  (Before we left for the amusement park that day, my children didn’t plot to drive me crazy in the parking lot.)

3. Because I have personalized what is not personal, I am adversarial in my response. (It’s not me acting for my children, but acting against them because they are in the way of what I want.)

4. So I end up settling for situational solutions that don’t really get to the heart of the matter.  (I bark and order, I instill guilt, I threaten a punishment and walk away, and my children are utterly unchanged by the encounter.)

There is a better way. It begins with praying that God would give you new eyes; eyes that are more focused on His eternal work of grace than on your momentary plans for you. This better way also includes seeking God for a flexible and willing heart, ready to abandon your agenda for God’s greater plan.  And it lives with the confidence that God is in you, with you, and for you and will give you what you need so that you can face, with courage and grace, the parenting moment that you didn’t know was coming."

Ted Tripp's Complete Blog Post

Teaching Your Children to Deal with Crisis & Fear

I'd like to share a post from a "Guest Blogger". Anna Thorburn & her family attend Christ Community Church with my daughter, Beth. In response to a family crisis in July when her self-employed husband was seriously injured, she wrote the following letter to their five children to help teach them a biblical approach to crisis & fear. This is a wonderful example of what parenting as a Christian looks like. I'm sure she would welcome your prayers for her family. I pray her letter will help you & your family face the difficulties in life in a manner that honors our Lord. [I have shortened it considerably, hoping more will take the time to read it. Please send me a note if you'd like a copy of the entire letter.]

*************************************************************************************

Encouragement from 2 Chronicles 20: 
“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”

My Dear Children,

A few weeks ago, Gary Brothers shared some encouragement from 2 Chronicles 20. Since that day, I have been “unpacking” this section of Scripture. The Lord is using it mightily to encourage me as I review God’s character demonstrated throughout this passage, as well as King Jehoshaphat’s example as he responds to his situation. I write out my notes here for you, hoping it will give you some guidance and encouragement, too!

King Jehoshaphat learned that swarms of evil armies were about to attack Judah. He was afraid  so…


1) “He set his face to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah.”(2Chron.20:3)

He flew into action, but it was an action of faith! He positioned himself for seeking. He must have felt he needed direction. He sought the Lord, who is the only One who can give it. In getting into the “seeking-position,” he proclaimed a fast, not only for himself, but for the whole nation. We will seek God together.. .we will fast together. Seeking God was a deliberate action. In this case, it involved self-denial & assembly of all those involved. Judah was being attacked, Judah fasted, Judah sought God… with Jehoshaphat at the helm. There are times that we must do this as a family [and as a local assembly]!

2) He prayed

     a. He reminds God of their relationship (2Chron.20:6)

     b. He reviews God’s power and might  (2Chron.20:6)

     c. He reminds God of His faithfulness on their behalf in His past actions  (2Chron.20:7-12)

     d. He expresses his own powerlessness & keeps his eyes on God. (2Chron.20:12)

         This is my heart cry today. I don’t know how to fix things and I am incapable of even thinking them
         through at times. (Psalm 34: 5)

     e. He states his resolution: “We will stand.”(2Chron.20:13)

      
         He is not assuming that God will prevent the affliction from coming upon him. It rests in God’s
         hands. They don’t know! Jehoshaphat IS, however, confident in the fact that God will hear
         them & save them. He is telling God that no matter what, they will stand and cry out to Him
         in whatever affliction comes. He knows that God will hear them and save them in whatever form He
         ordains.

3) “all Judah stood before the Lord with their little ones, their wives & their children.”
     (2Chron.20:13)

I love this!!! They could have been home, right? What good could their wives & little ones do, standing before the Lord as an assembly? Babies need feeding, changing, naps. Little ones make noise & could be disturbing. Wives have work to do. Perhaps they could have been packing for an escape! But no, they were there, as they had been so many times before in Scripture… all of Judah assembled together, with their wives & their children. We sometimes need to seek God as an assembly, as a church & as a family. Imagine what it would be like to watch your parents & all the people from the oldest to the youngest seeking God together and then falling on their faces in worship!

4) GOD ACTS.

“And the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel…in the midst of the assembly.” He gives the message from God to them: “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”(2Chron.20:14-15)

God tells them what to do: don’t be afraid or dismayed, and go out against them... but they will not need to fight. They are to hold their position and stand and wait to see the salvation of the Lord on their behalf. He says He will be with them. What a comfort!  Even when we are fighting, the battle is the Lord’s and the strength to fight is from the Lord. The outcome is God’s.

5) A Response of Worship (2Chron.20:18-19)

Jehoshaphat bows himself low and all of Judah followed his example. They fell down and worshiped God after receiving this message! Then they stood up and praised God with a “very loud voice!”

Sometimes when God has answered my prayer, I go about my business, happy for the resolution of my problem. This is just terrible! We must praise and worship God in humility and in gratitude. They hadn’t even been rescued yet. They were praising God after hearing He would be with them and would fight for them. We know that God is with us and fighting on our behalf today because of Christ’s death and resurrection. This should make us worship and praise Him continually!

6) A Response of Obedience “They rose early in the morning and went out…” (2Chron.20:20-21)

When they went out, Jehoshaphat exhorted them, reminded them some more: “Hear me… Believe in the Lord your God, and you will be established; believe His prophets, and you will succeed!” Then—this is amazing—he appointed those who would sing and praise the Lord to go ahead of the army.

7) God heard their praise and acted.  “And when they began to sing and praise, the Lord sent an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah.”  (2Chron.20:22)

8) A Response of Thankfulness (2Chron.20:23-24, 26-28)

Their enemies destroyed one another! Judah spent three days taking the spoil, but then…
on the fourth day, they assembled AGAIN to bless the Lord… and then they returned to Jerusalem in joy and rejoicing, coming into the house of God w/great music to the Lord. They did not forget to worship and praise God for what He had done, even after the threat was gone and peace had returned.

9) God Was Glorified (2Chron.20:29)

The effect these events had upon all who heard about it was that they feared the Lord. When God delivers His people, those around take notice. We become part of the story of God glorifying His name on the earth—for which He is worthy—when He has triumphed over our enemies. Sometimes our enemies are difficult circumstances or persecution. Sometimes our enemy is within our own hearts. When God triumphs and the battle is won, the effect is obvious and God’s glory cannot be denied.

[Thank you, Anna...]

Reminder from Young Charles Spurgeon

Having come from a long line of Congregationalists, Spurgeon became convicted of the need for believer baptism soon after coming to the Lord as a young man. Though a member of a local Congregational church, he made arrangements for his baptism with a Baptist church some 8 miles away and wrote seeking permission from his parents. His father replied with reluctant consent. His mother also agreed, but was not enthusiastic about the prospect. She wrote the following to him...

"Ah, Charles, I often prayed the Lord to make you a Christian, but I never asked that you might become a Baptist."

Spurgeon wrote in response...

"Ah, Mother, the Lord has answered your prayer with His usual bounty, and has given you exceeding abundantly above what you asked or thought."

Though this brought a smile to my face, it also reminded me of the importance of praying regularly and fervently for the salvation of our children and grandchildren. Spurgeon recalled his mother reading the Scriptures to her children and pleading with them to be concerned about their souls. "I cannot tell how much I owe of the solemn words of my good mother..." he wrote. "I remember on one occasion her praying thus, 'Now, Lord, if my children go on in their sins, it will not be from ignorance that they perish, and my soul must bear a swift witness against them at the day of judgment if they lay not hold of Christ.'... How can I ever forget when she bowed her knee, and with her arms about my neck, prayed, 'Oh, that my son may live before Thee!'"

[from "Spurgeon: A New Biography" by Arnold Dallimore]

The Priority of Family Worship

I thought I'd share practical advice from a worship pastor with 3 young children (aged 5, 6, 8) concerning Family Worship. The FBC Library recently added a number of resources for you to view/use - you'll find them at eye level on the right as you enter the library, at the end of the "Christian Living" section, I believe. [I'll label it soon!]


1. Keep It Short:
15-30 minutes on average. You don't want it to be a tedious time, but one looked forward to and tied into daily family living.

2. Read Scripture
Read a section of verses, then unpack them together... making sure you understand the wider context. Teach your kids how to make Observations. Interpret what the passage meant to the original recipients. Then consider the Universal Principles and Personal Application. "The important thing is to connect Scripture to life in a way your kids can understand." Remember the main theme of the Bible is GOD... not the characters, who are merely foils to help us learn about God and how He is working.

3. Pray
A family that prays together understands the cares and concerns of each child, and teaches their children that God is willing to listen and able to answer! Prayer is a privilege, bought with a great price ... use it!

4.  Keep It Regular
Choose a time of day and stick to it. Make the time. Keep it a priority. You'll miss a day here and there, but start up again. It will become habit after a while and be a time of great blessing!

5. Older Kids Set the Example
Young ones will watch the older ones. I was blessed to have an older child who embraced Family Worship. Though there was a 4 year age difference, it seemed to work out nicely.

6. Limit TV
It's a proven fact that TV decreases attention span, especially in young children. If you or your kids can't pay attention for more than two minutes, perhaps it's time to pull the plug!

7. Make It a Daily Priority
Remember you're the parent. You get to decide these things. There's nothing more important to do with your children than teach them God's Word and pray with them. Their SS teacher is just a helper... you're their REAL teacher.