Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson have a new book coming out this month. Raising our children in a manner that glorifies God can be a challenge, yet it is also a privileged responsibility He has given us. You may know the general biblical concepts, but the actual day-to-day implementation can be difficult to figure out. I remember thinking, "Yes, I want to bring my children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but how exactly do I do that?"
Fitzpatrick offers advice concerning different responses to various parenting situations. Not every situation should be treated the same way. She even offers an acronym to help us remember the various approaches: Moms Need To Constantly Pray, which of course, is a basic tenet of Christian child rearing! The letters stand for the various biblical approaches she suggests, depending on the actual need of the situation - Manage, Nurture, Train, Correct and Promise. I'm assuming she derived her categories from the different ways God deals with His children. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 comes to mind. It lists four different areas where Scripture is "profitable" - for teaching, for reproof, for correction and for training in righteousness. God also makes promises to His people, encouraging them to "set their minds" on these things, thereby enabling them to have an eternal focus and a longing for the day when His promises come to complete fruition. Fitzpatrick & Thompson suggest asking yourself the following questions in order to determine which of God's methods may be best suited to a particular situation in child rearing. I've added some of my own thoughts about situations in which these approaches might be implemented.
- Does this circumstance simply call for management?
- Mom finds herself unnecessarily repeating herself too many times to get her 4 year-old to do his daily chores (e.g. dress himself, brush his teeth, make his bed, put dirty pjs in laundry basket in the AM; set the table for supper, pick up toys at end of the day, put on pjs, put dirty clothes in laundry basket, brush teeth in PM) She decides this is a "management" issue and prints up & laminates "chore cards" or a "chore chart" using pictures he can check off as he accomplishes each one.
- Now that the situation has calmed down, do I have an opportunity to nurture his soul with the gospel?
- e.g. A parent has a serious illness & the child is unsettled & frightened at the thought of losing them. The daily family Bible time is a perfect opportunity for addressing these issues by teaching who God is, as He has revealed Himself in His Word.
- Is this the time to train him in how to apply what Jesus has already done for him?.
- Do I need to correct her/his attitudes or actions so that they are more in line with the good news?
- e.g. A child is corrected when they speak unlovingly to a sibling, taught the language of repentance, seeks forgiveness & is taught to look for ways to show their love for their sibling.
- Should I remind him of God’s promises, either of blessing for faith or of consequence for unbelief?
- Personalizing God's promises to a level the child can understand; faithfully following through with consequences for their actions
- Finally, is this just a time for me to pray and ask the Lord to show me how the gospel applies to my own heart? Do I need clarity to understand why my child is struggling or resisting right now? Do I need clarity into my heart’s responses so that I am not sucked down into her unbelief, anger, and despair? What is it that bothers me about his attitude? Why?
Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus
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This book is now available in the FBC Library!
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